


Like A River Runs

by thehumancondition



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, bucky has long hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehumancondition/pseuds/thehumancondition
Summary: Steve comes out to Bucky in hopes that they can finally be together. Instead, Bucky avoids him, leaving Steve to wonder what he did wrong. It turns the reason why Bucky did it was something Steve has dreamed of for years.





	Like A River Runs

Steve waited anxiously outside the school for Bucky. It was Friday night and as a tradition, they were heading to Steve’s for movie night. He decided it was time to come out to Bucky. Since his parents would be gone for the night, he felt it’d be easier. He was also hoping Bucky would ask Steve to be his boyfriend (which was probably just wishful thinking).

“Hey Steve, you ready?” Bucky’s voice broke Steve out of his daydream. “Uh yeah, which movie did you pick?” Bucky reached in his backpack and pulled out the ‘Love, Simon’ dvd. How ironic. “Good choice,” Steve said as they walked out to his car.

Steve was quiet in the car which was unusual. “You alright? You’re being quiet,” Bucky asked. “Yeah, it’s just been a long day. I’m alright,” Steve tried his best at lying. Bucky saw right through it but decided not to press him any further. Steve pulled into his driveway and followed Bucky up to the front door.

Bucky made popcorn while Steve set up the movie. Steve’s mind kept wandering to all of the different possibilities of what could happen tonight. Would Bucky be okay with it? Would things change between them, good or bad? He felt his chest tighten and his stomach churn. Luckily the sound of the microwave beeping snapped him out of his thoughts.

Bucky set the bowl of popcorn between them and Steve pressed play. They were quiet during the movie and Steve was barely paying attention. When it came to the scene where Simon came out to his friend Abby, Steve started crying. Bucky noticed and when he looked, Steve’s body was shaking.

He quickly grabbed the remote and paused the movie. “Steve, what’s wrong?” Bucky moved the popcorn bowl so he could be closer. Instead of answering, Steve tried (but failed) to control his emotions. “Please Steve, talk to me. I’m here. It’s okay, everything will be okay.” Bucky was gently rubbing his back because he knew it always calmed him down.

“There’s something I need to tell you. I don’t know how you’ll take it. Um, it’s something I realized when we started middle school. I know I shouldn’t have kept it from you for so long, I just wanted to make sure. Uh, you probably know where this is going,” he paused for an awkward laugh, “but I’m uh, I’m gay.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment as he processed it. “Wow, I’m proud of you for telling me. I know that can’t be easy. I want to know this won’t change anything. We’ll still be the same ol’ Steve and Bucky.” Steve sighed, feeling relieved, but same old Steve and Bucky stung a bit. He was happy Bucky was accepting, but he wanted more than anything to tell Bucky an even bigger secret.

“Thanks Buck, that means a lot to me.” Bucky smiled at him and Steve felt his heart flutter. “Kind of ironic I picked this movie,” he joked. Steve laughed and felt himself relax. It felt like nothing had changed. “Am I the only one who knows?” Bucky asked. Steve nodded, “I’m waiting to tell my parents and other friends. I just know I can trust you.”

“I’m glad you do.” A silence fell between them, but it was nice. “Should we finish the movie?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded and hit play. Steve smiled to himself when Bucky turned his attention back to the movie. He was so glad Bucky promised nothing would be different between them.

But Steve didn’t know Bucky was lying.

Steve had to work all weekend so he didn’t have a lot of time to talk to Bucky. He was looking forward to school (for once) so he could see him. But things were different when he arrived. Bucky wasn’t waiting at Steve’s locker. Steve assumed he was running late and tried not to think too much about it.

But then Bucky wasn’t at lunch. “Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked Peter when he sat down in his usual seat. “We were about to ask you,” he replied. “He was in math, don’t know where he is now though,” Natasha added. Steve excused himself and went into the hallway calling for Bucky. He texted him too but got no reply.

He waited for him after school but Bucky kept walking. “Buck, wait up!” Steve called as he jogged to keep up with him. “What’s going on man?” Bucky replied but didn’t even look at Steve, “Just had a bad day. I uh, kind of need some space.” Steve was confused. Bucky was always open with him. “You can talk to me Bucky,” Steve said gently.

“I uh, I can’t Steve. I’m sorry.” That was the last thing he said before walking home. Steve was left in the parking lot feeling dumfounded. He felt his eyes water and quickly ran to his car. He sped home and immediately went up to his room to cry. Steve assumed he’s only acting this way because he came out to him.

But why did Bucky promise things would be okay if he didn’t mean it? Or what if something really bad happened, something Bucky couldn’t tell him? How long will he need his space? Steve couldn’t stop his mind from running which only made his crying worse. Normally he’d call Bucky when he felt this low, but he was alone.

It happened again the next day. Steve lied and said Bucky was getting tutoring during lunch when his friends asked. When it lasted all week, his friends were getting suspicious. Steve didn’t know how many more lies he could think of, or how long he’d need to do it. Should he tell them the truth, even if it meant he’d have to come out?

Steve thought about it on his drive home. Normally, Bucky would be in the passenger seat and they’d be going to watch a movie. It was the first Friday in years where this wasn’t happening. He decided he was ready to tell his friends, and not just because of the Bucky situation. He’s been trying to find the right moment, and this gave him the push he needed.

He texted the group chat and told everyone to meet him at the park ASAP. “What’s up Steve?” Tony asked when they all arrived. “I have something to tell you guys. Two things actually,” he paused and tried to stop his shaky hands. “Uh, okay. I don’t really know how to start but I I’ll get straight to the point. I realized something a few years ago. When middle school started actually. I’m um, I’m gay. I hope this won’t change anything.”

His friends all smiled and assured him nothing would change, that they love him no matter what, and that they were proud. He was so happy they were accepting, but he quickly remembered the Bucky situation. “So, what’s the second thing? You got a boyfriend?” Sam teased. 

“I wish, but it’s about Bucky. I came out to him last week and I think that’s why he’s been acting weird. He said he needed space, but told me things would be okay after I told him. He promised me. He won’t return my texts or calls. I’m scared I did something wrong.” Steve tried his hardest to hold back his tears, but he failed. He didn’t like being vulnerable like this in public, but luckily the park was pretty empty.

“Steve, you didn’t do anything wrong. Bucky might just be dealing with something and he might not be ready to tell anyone yet. Don’t beat yourself up, okay? I know it’s hard, but we’re here for you. Do you want me to try talking to him?” Natasha offered. Steve shook his head, “I want to hear whatever he has to say to my face. I think I deserve that.”

“Let us know if you change your mind. I think you should give it a few more days and try again,” Peter suggested. Steve agreed to wait until Wednesday. He knew it’d be hard to wait a few more days, but he somehow (but barely) made it a week. The group treated Steve to some ice cream and tried taking his mind off of things.

Steve was looking forward to work so he’d be too busy to think of Bucky. Whenever he had a free moment, his mind still wandered to him. When he got back home Sunday night, his parents were waiting for him in the kitchen. “Steve sweetie, can we talk?” He felt his anxiety hit as he sat across from them. What did they want to talk about?

“Uh, about what?” His dad sighed, “We’ve noticed you’ve been off this past week. You barely eat and you go to straight to your room and don’t come out after school. I hear you cry yourself to sleep at night. Is everything okay? You can talk to us.”

Steve started crying. Hard. His body was shaking and his parents immediately came over to hug him. They let him get it out before he finally calmed down enough to form words. Steve decided to tell them everything. That he’s gay, the situation with Bucky, and he admitted his love for Bucky. He never told anyone that before, but he felt a lot freer after he did.

His parents cried with him. They said they were proud and they love him no matter what. Despite having a shitty week, this made him feel a lot better. It felt like the weight of the world was lifted from his chest. 

“You need to tell him Steve. I know it’s easier said than done, but he should know. If he can’t be your friend because of who you are, it’s his loss. Even if he doesn’t feel the same, he should be able to look past it.”

He knew his mom was right. How would he even get in touch with Bucky though? Show up at his house and refuse to leave until Bucky listened? It seemed like that was his only option at this point. “I know it’s late, but can I go now? I don’t know if I can do it if I don’t go now.” His parents let him go and he sped to Bucky’s.

He saw his bedroom light was on and rang the doorbell with his shaky hand. Bucky’s mom smiled when she saw Steve. “Do you want me to get Bucky?” Steve nodded. He was worried he would throw up if he opened his mouth. He waited while she yelled for Bucky to come downstairs. 

“What mom?” Bucky groaned from upstairs. Steve’s heartbeat got faster with each step Bucky took. He made it halfway down the stairs before stopping. “I don’t want to talk to him.” Steve felt his heart break and his mom gave him a confused look. “I won’t leave until we talk.” Bucky rolled his eyes and turned to walk back upstairs. “You’ll be here a while,” he said without turning around.

“I’ll get him, just wait here,” Bucky’s mom said before going after him. Steve felt like the room was spinning and that he’d pass out if Bucky didn’t hurry. He could hear them arguing upstairs and they finally returned against Bucky’s wishes. “I’ll give you guys space,” his mom said before walking outside.

“What?” was all Bucky said. “Seriously? You ignore me for over a week and that’s all you have to say?” Steve asked. “Yeah.” So Steve guessed Bucky was only going to have one worded answers. “Bucky, please. Just tell me if I did something wrong and I’ll fix it. Please.” Steve was begging at this point.

“It’s not that easy Steve.” “You can tell me. I can handle it.” Bucky shook his head and Steve could see tears in his eyes. “It’s not you. I promise. I know it seems like I hate you for coming out, but that’s not it. I would never hate you for being who you are. This is about me, and us, I guess.”

Steve’s heart stopped and he could tell Bucky said more than he wanted to. “What do you mean exactly?” Steve asked. “It’s nothing. Forget I said that. I just can’t be around you until I figure some stuff out.” “I don’t think I can handle that Buck. It’s eating me alive. Just please talk to me,” Steve pleaded.

Bucky finally let himself cry which only made Steve do the same. He didn’t understand what was happening or why. “Do you not want to be friends anymore? Is that it?” Steve asked. Bucky let out a small laugh through his tears. “It’s complicated. This could change everything. I don’t know if you and I are ready for it.”

Steve couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky had the same feelings he did. By the way Bucky was talking and acting, it didn’t seem so far-fetched. “I am Bucky. We can handle it. We’ve been through so much together, how bad can this be?” Bucky looked down and wiped his final tears away. 

“Alright, here goes nothing I guess,” Bucky laughed nervously before continuing, “I uh, don’t know exactly how to start this. I know I’m going to word vomit, so bear with me. For the past couple of years, I’ve felt…different. I knew I liked girls, but I started feeling the same way about boys. Um, one in boy in particular made me realize that though. If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s you.

I think deep down a part of me always knew. I think I was embarrassed and scared, so I pushed those feelings down as deep as they’d go. I’ve spent years wondering if you felt the same or if I should just give up. When you came out, a small part of me hoped we’d have a chance. I thought maybe you’d say something first.

When you didn’t, I figured I was stupid. I knew you would never see me how I see you and it crushed me. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that, I just didn’t know how to handle it. I’m so, so sorry for hurting you. But long story short, I’m in love with you Steve.”

Steve gasped. It was finally happening. Everything he dreamt of for years was finally becoming reality. He couldn’t even form words. “Steve, please say something. Anything,” Bucky begged. “I love you too Buck. I have for so long. Everything you felt is exactly how I have since middle school. I came here to tell you since I finally got the courage.”

Bucky’s face lit up. “You’re-you’re serious? This isn’t a sick joke?” Steve laugh and shook his head. Bucky cried, happy tears this time, and Steve couldn’t help but do the same. “Can I kiss you?” Bucky asked. His cheeks turned red and it was new seeing Bucky embarrassed, but it was definitely cute. “Come here,” Steve said with the biggest, goofiest grin.

Bucky cupped Steve’s face in his hands and kissed him. Steve had to stand on his tip toes a little bit to reach which made Bucky smile into his lips. Steve could taste the saltwater from Bucky’s tears. He used one hand to cup Bucky’s face while he used his thumb to wipe his left over tears away. The other hand was tangled in Bucky’s long hair.

Bucky guided the kiss and Steve followed along. He had never kissed anyone before, hoping Bucky would be his first. Though he had nothing to compare it to, it was magical. He felt like he was a Disney prince finally getting his happy ending. 

When Bucky finally pulled away, they both let out a laugh. “I’ve dreamt of this for so long,” Steve whispered. “I hope it was worth it,” Bucky joked. “It was perfect. You’re perfect. God, I love you so much,” Steve said. “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that. I’m so in love with you too.”

Steve pulled Bucky into another kiss, this one much quicker. It was still just as magical. “So, how do you think all of our friends will take this? And our parents?” Steve asked. “I don’t think they’ll be surprised. I just hope no one tries to steal you away,” Bucky said as a joke, but he also meant it. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “I think we’ll be safe. I don’t want to ever let you go.” Bucky grabbed his hand and gently rubbed over it with his thumb. “Then don’t.” Steve felt his heart flutter and Bucky kissed him again. Everything felt right and they were both excited for their future together.


End file.
